he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
