trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
