Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
