none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
