I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
