I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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