do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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