Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
