You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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