erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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