don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
