i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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