I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
