That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
