just come out here and I will go home with you...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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