I hope mine doesn't look like that
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Randomize
