Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
