then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
