was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
