addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
