Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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