People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
