Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
