You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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