Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
