If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
