next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
