Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
