We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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