I cockslap morals
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
