its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
