i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
