How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
