Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
