Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
