alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
