It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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