I smell stomach acid.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
