Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
