I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We just shotgunned beers for America
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
