New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
