whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
