It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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