end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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