you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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