The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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