There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
