He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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