I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize