I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
